1
00:00:08,590 --> 00:00:12,410
Second floor perfumery, stationery and
leather goods, wigs and haberdashery,

2
00:00:12,430 --> 00:00:14,230
kitchenware and food going up.

3
00:00:19,370 --> 00:00:24,030
First floor telephones, gents, ready
-made suits, jumps, socks, pie hats,

4
00:00:24,270 --> 00:00:25,830
underwear and shoes going up.

5
00:00:31,110 --> 00:00:35,650
Second floor carpet, travel goods and
bedding, materials, soft furnishing,

6
00:00:35,930 --> 00:00:37,590
restaurant and tea going up.

7
00:00:51,630 --> 00:00:54,130
Mrs. Slocum, ladies intimate apparel.

8
00:00:55,350 --> 00:00:56,390
Oh, certainly.

9
00:00:57,050 --> 00:01:02,330
Captain Peacock, Mr. Rumbled wishes to
be informed immediately Mr.

10
00:01:02,550 --> 00:01:03,550
Spooner gets here.

11
00:01:09,210 --> 00:01:10,210
Mrs.

12
00:01:12,110 --> 00:01:16,390
Slocum, we do not shout across the
department in front of customers, or

13
00:01:16,390 --> 00:01:17,390
at any time.

14
00:01:17,670 --> 00:01:19,370
Yes, but how am I...

15
00:01:19,610 --> 00:01:22,890
to communicate with you if you're
standing there with your nose in the

16
00:01:24,310 --> 00:01:25,690
Discreetly, by raising your hand.

17
00:01:25,930 --> 00:01:27,150
Yes, but what if you don't see?

18
00:01:27,470 --> 00:01:28,690
Then you will wait until I do.

19
00:01:30,010 --> 00:01:35,330
At Grace Brothers, we do not converse
like traders at Billingsgate Fish

20
00:01:36,090 --> 00:01:39,610
Captain Peacock, how much longer do I
have to wait for you to answer the

21
00:01:40,170 --> 00:01:41,910
I was about to take the phone, sir.

22
00:02:01,260 --> 00:02:01,999
What is it?

23
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:06,780
I did inform Captain Peacock that you
wished to speak to him, but he chose to

24
00:02:06,780 --> 00:02:09,539
have a chat with me about Billingsgate
Fish Market.

25
00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:14,160
I was merely pointing out to Mrs. Slocum
that this is not Billingsgate Fish

26
00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:17,460
Market. I'm sure Mrs. Slocum is very
well aware of that.

27
00:02:18,060 --> 00:02:20,480
The whole department is getting very
slack.

28
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:23,540
Now, where is Mr. Humphreys? He's in the
gentleman's fitting room.

29
00:02:24,340 --> 00:02:28,700
The gentleman's counter should not be
left unattended at any time. Get him

30
00:02:31,310 --> 00:02:32,730
Mr. Humphreys, are you free?

31
00:02:33,710 --> 00:02:34,710
I'm free.

32
00:02:35,550 --> 00:02:39,110
Ah, I see you have a customer. No, sir.
As a matter of fact, I was just

33
00:02:39,110 --> 00:02:44,870
repricing my stock. I put the shirts up
95 pence and gloves and ties up 50. And

34
00:02:44,870 --> 00:02:48,070
if it's all right with you, I'd like to
drop my trousers and display my wife up.

35
00:02:51,010 --> 00:02:52,470
That should attract attention.

36
00:02:54,110 --> 00:02:57,390
Never mind that now, Mr. Humphreys. I
want everyone to gather round.

37
00:03:00,550 --> 00:03:04,230
Now... As we all know, Mr Spooner has
been late almost every day.

38
00:03:04,630 --> 00:03:08,150
He's over half an hour late this
morning, and I'm tempted to terminate

39
00:03:08,150 --> 00:03:10,390
employment. Now, does anyone think I'm
being too harsh?

40
00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:14,410
Well, personally, considering how rude
he's been to me in the past, it would be

41
00:03:14,410 --> 00:03:15,870
a relief to have him replaced.

42
00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:20,590
Oh, but we were late Saturday night on
account of our annual concert, and he

43
00:03:20,590 --> 00:03:21,590
have a sore throat.

44
00:03:22,230 --> 00:03:24,830
He's had all Sunday to rest, that's no
excuse.

45
00:03:25,270 --> 00:03:27,270
Mr Humphreys, how well has he come
along?

46
00:03:27,530 --> 00:03:29,850
Well, he does try, and he was very good
in the concert.

47
00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:32,480
That cannot be taken into account.

48
00:03:32,820 --> 00:03:34,460
Captain Peacock, what is your
assessment?

49
00:03:34,900 --> 00:03:38,640
He does not respond well to discipline,
and his hair is too long.

50
00:03:40,260 --> 00:03:42,800
Well, hands out those who think Spooner
should go.

51
00:03:45,180 --> 00:03:50,560
Yes, well, two senior persons overrides
one junior and one senior person, so I

52
00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:51,900
fear Spooner must go.

53
00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:56,320
Oh, please, couldn't you just relegate
him temporarily, and then he might mend

54
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:57,320
his way?

55
00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:59,820
You can't get much lower than the men's
department.

56
00:04:01,329 --> 00:04:03,770
I mean, it's good. We're going to be
hard put to find another.

57
00:04:04,210 --> 00:04:06,030
Well, Miss Brahms may have a point.

58
00:04:06,370 --> 00:04:08,890
I could see if there's a low post that's
vacant.

59
00:04:09,210 --> 00:04:11,130
He could stoke the boilers.

60
00:04:12,250 --> 00:04:13,870
It'll be easy. The gas fire.

61
00:04:15,910 --> 00:04:19,430
Sorry, I'm late. I slept through my
alarm call. When I got here, there was

62
00:04:19,430 --> 00:04:21,410
one girl on the lifts. The other one's
got the flu.

63
00:04:21,990 --> 00:04:23,770
Anyway, I gave up waiting and had to use
the stairs.

64
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:25,890
Mr. Rumble.

65
00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:29,560
May I have your permission to suggest a
suitable position for Mr. Spooner?

66
00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:30,640
Please do.

67
00:04:31,260 --> 00:04:34,260
Mr. Spooner, how would you like a new
job?

68
00:04:34,780 --> 00:04:35,960
Oh, any chance of advancement?

69
00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:39,860
Well, you start at the bottom and get to
the top almost right away.

70
00:04:40,260 --> 00:04:41,260
I'll take it.

71
00:04:48,060 --> 00:04:49,060
Mr.

72
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,700
Spooner, do not sit at our table.

73
00:04:52,020 --> 00:04:53,560
Well, I always sit with you lot.

74
00:04:56,650 --> 00:04:58,330
You don't mean we shouldn't talk to him
no more?

75
00:04:58,610 --> 00:05:01,530
He'll lower the whole tune of the table
if he sits there.

76
00:05:02,150 --> 00:05:05,450
It's still our Mr Spooner. He's just
wearing different clothes.

77
00:05:05,850 --> 00:05:06,850
It's all right, Miss Trumpery's.

78
00:05:07,110 --> 00:05:08,290
I know when I'm not wanted.

79
00:05:08,570 --> 00:05:09,570
I'll sit over here.

80
00:05:14,170 --> 00:05:19,690
Here. We can lift people up this end of
my canteen. You can go two tables back.

81
00:05:20,030 --> 00:05:21,910
But it's me, Bert Spooner.

82
00:05:23,070 --> 00:05:27,300
If I have to complain about you... You
could be eaten outside the back door by

83
00:05:27,300 --> 00:05:28,380
lunchtime. So off it!

84
00:05:29,540 --> 00:05:31,040
I'm going to have my coffee in the lift.

85
00:05:31,980 --> 00:05:33,940
Well, he's lucky to have a job at all.

86
00:05:34,620 --> 00:05:38,240
I must say, Mr Humphreys is doing
remarkably well without him.

87
00:05:38,460 --> 00:05:41,220
It's not easy doing twice the work with
one pair of hands.

88
00:05:41,580 --> 00:05:44,680
Morning all. Here, what a reception the
firm's act got on Saturday.

89
00:05:44,940 --> 00:05:46,920
It was voted the best entertainment by a
mile.

90
00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,000
Even got a mention in the local paper.

91
00:05:49,380 --> 00:05:50,380
Oh, where?

92
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:51,740
Just underneath the greyhound results.

93
00:05:53,070 --> 00:05:54,930
Did it mention any names?

94
00:05:55,190 --> 00:05:56,190
Listen to this.

95
00:05:58,090 --> 00:06:02,350
The London Department Store's annual
concert held at the Victoria Hall was

96
00:06:02,350 --> 00:06:04,550
attended by the staff from the main
London stores.

97
00:06:04,970 --> 00:06:09,450
But the art standing act, which even
exceeded the versatility of the Lady

98
00:06:09,450 --> 00:06:13,490
Charmer from the Pet Department of
Arrods, was the remarkable performance

99
00:06:13,490 --> 00:06:18,950
Beespooner of Grace Brothers with a song
called Chanson d 'amour.

100
00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:25,860
His voice, not unlike the young Tess O
'Connor, filled the audience.

101
00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:30,220
He was ably backed by the voices of Miss
Brahms and Mrs. Slocum in ladies'

102
00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:34,700
underwear. And he established the
umpties of the men's, while his senior

103
00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:39,220
manager, Mr. Rumbold, gave a spirited
performance on the accordion. Mr.

104
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,420
Beespooner's talent should not go
unnoticed.

105
00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:45,700
Let's hope an impresario spots him and
gives him the break he deserves.

106
00:06:46,060 --> 00:06:49,460
Oh, fancy that. Let's have a sing. He
said he was good. Good.

107
00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:51,040
He didn't mention me.

108
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:54,180
I played the piano and sang as well, and
he didn't mention me.

109
00:06:54,420 --> 00:06:57,420
That's because the piano was out of
sight behind a curtain.

110
00:06:57,860 --> 00:07:00,200
But I kept leaning back so that the
audience could see me.

111
00:07:00,860 --> 00:07:03,840
Yeah, but if they couldn't see the
piano, they probably thought you was a

112
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:04,840
stagehand.

113
00:07:05,220 --> 00:07:06,380
Top hat and tails.

114
00:07:06,780 --> 00:07:07,780
So was I.

115
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:11,380
And they didn't mention me either, and
yet I introduced you all. Only after

116
00:07:11,380 --> 00:07:16,140
removing four ferrets from your
trousers, covered by the flags of all

117
00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,840
No one asked you to do all that chat.

118
00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:20,780
You kept us waiting ten minutes.

119
00:07:21,180 --> 00:07:23,820
That was because of the fact there was
actually five ferrets.

120
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:27,080
But one of them kept eluding me.

121
00:07:27,340 --> 00:07:29,060
I advised him to get the flags out.

122
00:07:29,540 --> 00:07:32,260
Keep that paper up. And there's another
one. I've got a lot more.

123
00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:34,080
Oh, how exciting.

124
00:07:35,020 --> 00:07:36,440
Fancy us being mentioned.

125
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:41,500
Well, we'd never have done it without Mr
Spooner. I think we ought to ask him

126
00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:42,520
for lunch. I agree.

127
00:07:42,900 --> 00:07:46,760
The mention in the local paper does not
alter the fact that he's been demoted.

128
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,900
He's no longer a member of our
department.

129
00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:53,440
And nobody would have noticed him if it
hadn't been for us backing him up with

130
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,040
all that dancing and singing.

131
00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,100
Not forgetting my piano playing and
singing.

132
00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:00,800
Where are Mr Spooner? Back on the lift.

133
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:04,540
Ah, well, this does place us in rather a
difficult position.

134
00:08:06,300 --> 00:08:10,200
I've just had a call from a record
company, and apparently they're

135
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:15,100
signing Spooner up. So, of course, we'll
reinstate him. This could be very good

136
00:08:15,100 --> 00:08:16,220
publicity for our department.

137
00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:20,980
How did they get to know about him?
Well, it seems that one of the record

138
00:08:20,980 --> 00:08:25,000
company's talent spotters was at the
concert. Did they ask about us?

139
00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:26,800
Not as far as I've heard.

140
00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:28,860
But we was the backing group.

141
00:08:29,500 --> 00:08:33,240
I suppose they didn't consider that
important, though I thought we were

142
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:37,840
good. Well, the backing group is very
important. I think we should be given a

143
00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:38,840
chance as well.

144
00:08:39,340 --> 00:08:42,400
Well, I suppose that would be up to Mr
Spooner, though, as we're all his

145
00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:44,600
friends, I'm sure he'll be pleased to
suggest us.

146
00:08:45,610 --> 00:08:47,570
I presume this is the article Mr Harmon
mentioned.

147
00:08:48,050 --> 00:08:51,530
I wonder if Mr Spooner would like a cup
of coffee in his lift.

148
00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:55,670
You forgot the sugar!

149
00:08:58,850 --> 00:09:02,350
Isn't it amazing how anxious people are
to get into show business?

150
00:09:04,470 --> 00:09:06,410
Are you going to eat that chocolate
biscuit?

151
00:09:06,910 --> 00:09:07,910
No.

152
00:09:20,620 --> 00:09:24,460
You must take care of your throat, Mr
Spooner. We don't want to lose that

153
00:09:24,460 --> 00:09:27,380
voice. This spray you gave me certainly
makes it feel better.

154
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,760
Oh, it's so nice to have you back.

155
00:09:30,380 --> 00:09:31,960
Oh, and he got nice hair.

156
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:36,840
I just want you to know it wasn't me who
said you should go on the lift.

157
00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:40,440
In fact, Mr Humphreys and me, we spoke
up for you.

158
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:42,400
We were the only ones.

159
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:46,560
Mr Rumble threatened to dismiss you,
but...

160
00:09:46,810 --> 00:09:48,010
I persuaded him against it.

161
00:09:48,310 --> 00:09:50,010
Yeah, and got me demoted to lift.

162
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:53,850
It was only as a temporary measure than
it was for your own good. I think he's

163
00:09:53,850 --> 00:09:56,810
ever so brave of you to have come at all
with that sore throat.

164
00:09:57,350 --> 00:09:58,890
It started just before the concert.

165
00:09:59,150 --> 00:10:00,530
It certainly didn't affect your voice.

166
00:10:00,870 --> 00:10:03,330
I think it improved it. Made it sort of
deeper.

167
00:10:04,150 --> 00:10:05,150
Excuse me.

168
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:08,830
Do you know, I had a sore throat once. I
was in the hall on the phone to a

169
00:10:08,830 --> 00:10:12,450
friend of mine, and my voice was so
deep, my mother heard it through the

170
00:10:12,450 --> 00:10:14,250
letterbox when she was getting her key
out.

171
00:10:14,470 --> 00:10:17,230
She ran straight next door and dialed
999.

172
00:10:18,230 --> 00:10:19,230
For an ambulance?

173
00:10:19,470 --> 00:10:21,890
No, the police. She thought there was a
man in the house.

174
00:10:23,050 --> 00:10:25,770
They do sign me up. Imagine me being a
pop star.

175
00:10:27,290 --> 00:10:29,750
That means you could have any girl you
wanted.

176
00:10:30,370 --> 00:10:32,090
Would that include you, Miss Brahms?

177
00:10:32,410 --> 00:10:33,289
It could.

178
00:10:33,290 --> 00:10:38,790
If they do sign you up, you'll put a
good word in for us, won't you?

179
00:10:39,350 --> 00:10:42,130
So, that's why you're all being so nice
to me.

180
00:10:42,690 --> 00:10:48,070
Well, I know I speak my mind on
occasion, but I'm really very fond of

181
00:10:48,070 --> 00:10:50,510
got a very big place for you here.

182
00:10:51,190 --> 00:10:52,930
Got room for the old department there.

183
00:10:53,310 --> 00:10:56,350
Oh, I do like a boy with a sense of
humour.

184
00:10:58,270 --> 00:10:59,270
Man's well.

185
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:02,150
Mr Spooner, it's for you.

186
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:07,540
Yes? This is Mr. Spooner.

187
00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:10,040
4 .30 this afternoon?

188
00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:11,920
I'm afraid I'll be at work.

189
00:11:12,260 --> 00:11:13,259
Hang on.

190
00:11:13,260 --> 00:11:16,180
It's the record company. They want to
know if I can make a demo record this

191
00:11:16,180 --> 00:11:18,520
afternoon before they decide whether to
sign me up or not.

192
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:22,540
Well, I'm sure I could persuade Mr.
Rumbo to let you leave a little earlier

193
00:11:22,540 --> 00:11:26,060
usual, although it would be better if
they could make it this evening.

194
00:11:26,780 --> 00:11:29,720
Hello? Well, it's a bit difficult.
Couldn't we do it this evening?

195
00:11:30,900 --> 00:11:32,920
Oh, it'll probably take all evening as
well.

196
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:34,860
Like what?

197
00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:36,720
My backing group as well.

198
00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:40,680
Well, yes, they're here, but I don't
think they'll be available. They're all

199
00:11:40,680 --> 00:11:41,459
work too.

200
00:11:41,460 --> 00:11:42,379
Give me that.

201
00:11:42,380 --> 00:11:46,300
Hello, this is Mrs Slocum, the lead
singer in the back.

202
00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:51,520
Well, no, my voice sounds quite
different when I mingle with the others.

203
00:11:52,020 --> 00:11:53,980
Now, listen, I'm sure we can be
available.

204
00:11:55,850 --> 00:11:56,890
No, don't get another group.

205
00:11:57,150 --> 00:12:00,830
Hang on, we'll give you a sample. Here,
you sing something and we'll harmonise.

206
00:12:01,450 --> 00:12:02,450
Right, how's this?

207
00:12:03,330 --> 00:12:09,990
I've got rhythm, I've got music, I've
got my girl who could ask for

208
00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:10,990
anything more.

209
00:12:11,270 --> 00:12:12,270
Doo -doo.

210
00:12:14,370 --> 00:12:15,370
How was that?

211
00:12:16,150 --> 00:12:17,150
They love me.

212
00:12:17,610 --> 00:12:18,630
What about us?

213
00:12:19,110 --> 00:12:20,110
What about them?

214
00:12:21,970 --> 00:12:23,010
You got the job.

215
00:12:27,530 --> 00:12:30,370
I'm afraid I can't possibly let you all
go off early this afternoon.

216
00:12:30,790 --> 00:12:33,810
Mr. Spooner, yes, one meeting won't
affect the department.

217
00:12:34,470 --> 00:12:37,750
Yes, but, I mean, half an hour's not
going to make all that much difference.

218
00:12:38,190 --> 00:12:40,390
If we're good, they could sign us all
up.

219
00:12:40,610 --> 00:12:42,690
They mentioned you on the accordion in
the paper.

220
00:12:43,610 --> 00:12:49,170
I hardly think my performance, good
though it was, would merit a career in

221
00:12:49,170 --> 00:12:53,010
music. Nor do I think the backing
singing is going to influence the record

222
00:12:53,010 --> 00:12:57,030
company in signing up our Mr. Spooner.
Think of the publicity for the store,

223
00:12:57,030 --> 00:12:58,030
whole

224
00:12:58,120 --> 00:12:59,120
aren't in the news.

225
00:12:59,460 --> 00:13:00,600
Now, that is a good point.

226
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:04,980
Miss Belfridge, get Mr. Grace on the
line. I'll just clear it with him first.

227
00:13:05,260 --> 00:13:06,079
Yes, sir.

228
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:09,320
We'll give him a quick rendering to
remind him of our performance last

229
00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:12,060
I've got Mr. Grace on the line.

230
00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:14,300
Hello, Mr. Grace.

231
00:13:14,740 --> 00:13:15,740
Rambole here, sir.

232
00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:17,640
No, this will only take a minute.

233
00:13:18,300 --> 00:13:20,140
I've got something here I want you to
listen to.

234
00:13:22,540 --> 00:13:23,540
Are we all ready?

235
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:27,560
What shall we do?

236
00:13:28,030 --> 00:13:31,330
Well, we've just done I've Got Rhythm to
show them how good we are. No, no, I

237
00:13:31,330 --> 00:13:34,270
think we should do Chanson d 'amour. I
mean, that's the one they like. Right,

238
00:13:34,330 --> 00:13:35,330
let's do that, then.

239
00:13:35,670 --> 00:13:36,670
Are you still there, sir?

240
00:13:38,090 --> 00:13:39,090
After four.

241
00:14:00,330 --> 00:14:01,830
outbreak of distemper and the testify.

242
00:14:03,370 --> 00:14:05,770
It's the staff on the fourth floor.

243
00:14:07,950 --> 00:14:10,910
I see.

244
00:14:11,230 --> 00:14:14,570
Keep them in quarantine until the store
closes at five o 'clock.

245
00:14:15,750 --> 00:14:17,190
You've just ruined my career.

246
00:14:17,630 --> 00:14:20,250
They only wanted to see me, and now they
don't want anybody.

247
00:14:20,570 --> 00:14:22,390
Wait a minute. All may not be lost.

248
00:14:22,730 --> 00:14:25,950
How? Well, they only want a demo to show
how good we are.

249
00:14:26,170 --> 00:14:27,270
How good I am?

250
00:14:27,790 --> 00:14:32,010
With us behind you. Oh, yes. Now, why
don't we make a demo here after we

251
00:14:32,490 --> 00:14:35,710
Yes, we could use the recording
equipment in the music department.

252
00:14:35,710 --> 00:14:36,649
good idea.

253
00:14:36,650 --> 00:14:38,290
Well, it won't be as good as a studio.

254
00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:42,470
Grace Brothers has the finest home
recording equipment available.

255
00:14:43,770 --> 00:14:45,310
Don't forget to order a big piano.

256
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,440
My throat's starting to feel worse, you
know. Open wide.

257
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:09,080
Where's the piano?

258
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:10,780
Listen, where's my accordion?

259
00:15:10,980 --> 00:15:13,420
You can't have a piano and accordion in
a demo.

260
00:15:13,740 --> 00:15:14,940
You've got to have a proper orchestra.

261
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:18,820
How about this tremophone record with
the music on?

262
00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:22,460
What are we supposed to do? Well, you
just sing along with the backing. Now,

263
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:23,960
come along, Mrs. Slocum, Miss Brown.

264
00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:25,800
Chop, chop. Now, come on.

265
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:31,470
Where have you... not one piece of
music. I was supposed to know it. But I

266
00:15:31,470 --> 00:15:33,450
couldn't see that, even if I had my
glasses on.

267
00:15:33,970 --> 00:15:34,970
Where do I stand?

268
00:15:35,210 --> 00:15:37,750
You stand in front of this lot and do it
in there.

269
00:15:38,010 --> 00:15:40,430
Right. But I can't hear the music from
back here.

270
00:15:40,630 --> 00:15:41,630
Well, we're not moving.

271
00:15:42,090 --> 00:15:44,550
Well, I have to know where to come in
with my doodars.

272
00:15:46,790 --> 00:15:47,870
You can have a look at mine.

273
00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:52,130
I can't see it unless it's closer.

274
00:15:52,490 --> 00:15:53,650
It's just right for my vision.

275
00:15:54,650 --> 00:15:57,830
I don't seem to have my sheet music.
Captain Peacock will let you borrow his.

276
00:15:58,010 --> 00:15:58,799
No, I won't.

277
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:02,280
I can't do this from memory. We're
supposed to be backing Mr Spooner.

278
00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:03,380
have to look over our shoulders.

279
00:16:04,460 --> 00:16:05,460
Thank you.

280
00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:09,740
If you're going to put your head there,
where am I going to stick mine?

281
00:16:10,980 --> 00:16:15,400
You can come and stand behind us. But
I'm front -backing, you're back

282
00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:18,680
Just a minute, I think I can solve both
your problems.

283
00:16:22,300 --> 00:16:24,080
There, now, I've just appeared, sir.

284
00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:31,420
All I can see is two big semiquavers.

285
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,740
He needs some music, Mrs.

286
00:16:37,060 --> 00:16:39,660
Slocum. Now, you'll have to move back
because we've got to have room for our

287
00:16:39,660 --> 00:16:40,539
song and dance.

288
00:16:40,540 --> 00:16:45,420
Now, when you sing, your voices will
blend with this record, which in turn

289
00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:49,720
be recorded on this seven and a half
inch reel -to -reel home recording

290
00:16:50,020 --> 00:16:54,060
It gives a perfect reproduction from
which I will make cassettes for you all.

291
00:16:54,220 --> 00:16:55,220
Thank you.

292
00:16:56,840 --> 00:17:03,080
Chanson d 'amour sung by Mr. Spooner,
backed by Mr. Humphreys, Mrs. Slocum,

293
00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:08,400
Miss Brahms, with doodars by Captain
Peter and Mr. Welby. Take one.

294
00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:52,040
minutes, I'll be Mr. Spooner's making a
demo.

295
00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:56,620
Oh, oh, is that Edson, Mr. Spooner, what
was so good at the con?

296
00:18:47,980 --> 00:18:50,540
Actually, I said, now listen to this, I
said.

297
00:18:50,780 --> 00:18:52,540
And I played her our cassette.

298
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:54,760
I didn't know you had a player.

299
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:59,840
Oh, yes, yes. It was given to me by that
nice man I met in the pub. You know,

300
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:01,420
the one I told you about.

301
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,440
Oh. You don't mean you let him... No.

302
00:19:04,900 --> 00:19:08,000
I wouldn't let him through the door.

303
00:19:08,220 --> 00:19:11,360
He only has to ring the bell and my
tiddler's hair stands on end.

304
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:14,960
Oh, no, she hates the sight of him.

305
00:19:15,380 --> 00:19:19,510
Anyway, Mrs... Miss Axleby wouldn't
believe it was us singing.

306
00:19:19,850 --> 00:19:22,430
She thought it was some famous group.

307
00:19:22,830 --> 00:19:24,310
She's sure it'll be a hit.

308
00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:27,810
Well, I played mine as soon as I got
home to a friend of mine.

309
00:19:28,050 --> 00:19:29,050
What did he think?

310
00:19:29,150 --> 00:19:30,790
Well, he's neither one way or the other.

311
00:19:31,990 --> 00:19:33,590
He likes classical music.

312
00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:39,290
It's twenty past nine and still no sign
of Mr Spooner. Oh, well, that could be

313
00:19:39,290 --> 00:19:42,190
good. He said he was going to take the
tape straight to the record company

314
00:19:42,190 --> 00:19:44,370
thing. Well, I must say that...

315
00:19:44,780 --> 00:19:48,740
My wife was most impressed when I played
the cassette to her on a big high -five

316
00:19:48,740 --> 00:19:49,740
with the two speakers.

317
00:19:50,340 --> 00:19:54,720
As a matter of fact, she said it made
her feel quite romantic, which is

318
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:55,720
for her.

319
00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:58,000
And what did you do?

320
00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:03,000
Well, she was so keen on it that after
our cocoa, I took out my little portable

321
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,220
and put it on the bedside table.

322
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:09,460
And I suppose you both eventually got
off?

323
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,000
Almost immediately.

324
00:20:12,570 --> 00:20:13,870
Turned out I had a flat battery.

325
00:20:15,570 --> 00:20:18,430
They signed me up. They loved it. They
gave me a contract. They wanted to make

326
00:20:18,430 --> 00:20:19,430
me a star.

327
00:20:20,190 --> 00:20:22,350
I knew Max Viagraves couldn't last
forever.

328
00:20:23,710 --> 00:20:26,130
Did they mention us?

329
00:20:26,470 --> 00:20:27,510
Yeah, what did they say?

330
00:20:27,890 --> 00:20:29,030
They said it was a great sound.

331
00:20:29,250 --> 00:20:30,250
And listen to this.

332
00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:32,790
They're going to announce it to the
press. That'll be in all the evening

333
00:20:33,250 --> 00:20:36,930
And they've even fixed up for us to be
on the Around London programme tonight

334
00:20:36,930 --> 00:20:37,930
six o 'clock.

335
00:20:40,460 --> 00:20:41,480
A parlour full of neighbours.

336
00:20:42,420 --> 00:20:45,700
What about your voice? Don't you think
you ought to rest it? No, it'll last

337
00:20:45,740 --> 00:20:46,820
as long as I keep giving it a spray.

338
00:20:47,300 --> 00:20:48,560
Are you sure they want us?

339
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:52,240
Oh, yes. They want us to look just like
we did when I was spotted on the show.

340
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:53,880
That's the angle they want to use.

341
00:20:54,140 --> 00:20:55,220
Well, congratulations.

342
00:20:55,780 --> 00:20:58,400
Oh. I suppose this will be your last day
at Grace Brothers.

343
00:20:58,700 --> 00:20:59,479
Oh, yes.

344
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:02,300
But if you lot come over well on the
telly, it could be your last day, too.

345
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:06,720
Oh, I think Mrs. Slocum and I are a bit
past the age when we could make our

346
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:07,840
debut in the pop world.

347
00:21:08,790 --> 00:21:11,250
Ella Fitzgerald is twice as old as I am.

348
00:21:12,950 --> 00:21:14,710
Somebody's got to step into her shoes.

349
00:21:15,190 --> 00:21:16,190
Your fate would fit.

350
00:21:17,830 --> 00:21:18,830
Cheeky.

351
00:21:21,110 --> 00:21:22,110
Right, thank you.

352
00:21:22,790 --> 00:21:26,230
I've arranged with the costume people.
They say you can hire the same outfits

353
00:21:26,230 --> 00:21:27,230
you had for the concert.

354
00:21:27,570 --> 00:21:31,330
Oh, jolly good. I'll have them collected
then. I think you're ever so brave

355
00:21:31,330 --> 00:21:33,730
going on telly, especially live.

356
00:21:34,410 --> 00:21:37,230
Oh, well, my position, I'm used to
dealing with people.

357
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:41,820
watching you, just waiting for the
slightest mistake.

358
00:21:45,700 --> 00:21:47,640
Well, we've agreed to do it now.

359
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:49,140
Where are my aspirins?

360
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,960
They're in the empty box of
tranquilizers.

361
00:21:56,700 --> 00:21:57,700
Enter.

362
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,820
Excuse me, sir. The press are here. They
want some pictures for the paper.

363
00:22:03,120 --> 00:22:06,060
With your permission, I said they could
have some of Mr. Spooner with his

364
00:22:06,060 --> 00:22:08,740
superior, namely yourself and his fellow
workers.

365
00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:12,800
That's if they let me take them. That
way, you won't get no pictures, whereas

366
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:13,800
they're not in the best of taste.

367
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:15,200
Have the press agreed?

368
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:16,860
Yes, they've all bought an exclusive.

369
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:20,120
The camera and the staff are outside.

370
00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:21,600
Shall I fetch them in for a photo call?

371
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,420
Yes, let's get it over with.

372
00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:25,040
Right,

373
00:22:25,340 --> 00:22:26,340
you lot, in you are.

374
00:22:31,380 --> 00:22:32,380
I'll get the camera.

375
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:35,840
Now, this won't take a moment. Just a
couple of pictures for the press, with

376
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:37,540
perhaps me shaking spoon with hand.

377
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:40,600
Spooner's hand.

378
00:22:40,700 --> 00:22:43,160
Well, I'm shaking it, saying goodbye and
good luck.

379
00:22:43,460 --> 00:22:47,040
I think we ought to have a group
photograph of us all with Mr Spooner in

380
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:48,040
middle. Good idea.

381
00:22:48,380 --> 00:22:49,380
What was that?

382
00:22:50,860 --> 00:22:51,860
Good idea.

383
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:55,360
Do take care of that voice. I've only
got a couple of squirts left.

384
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:56,680
It's well enough, too.

385
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:01,680
Blimey! This rate is a British museum!

386
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:07,260
This is Mr Grace's permanent personal
portrait camera, and it's used on his

387
00:23:07,260 --> 00:23:08,260
to photograph the world.

388
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:10,040
As good as today it was me.

389
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:11,600
10 .66.

390
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:16,840
Simon, stand outside the door. Don't let
no one in. I've only got one plate

391
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:17,840
left. Right, Beverly.

392
00:23:22,020 --> 00:23:26,860
Right. Now, you'll have to hold your
pose a bit longer to allow this plate to

393
00:23:26,860 --> 00:23:30,160
develop. And try not to blink when the
flash goes off.

394
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:31,840
Now, get in a line.

395
00:23:32,940 --> 00:23:33,940
The back of it.

396
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:37,820
And I smile while I look at you from
this end here.

397
00:23:41,740 --> 00:23:43,780
Oh, this is spreading much longer.

398
00:23:45,460 --> 00:23:48,020
If you hurry up, please. I'm running out
of sincerity.

399
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:50,639
Nearly there.

400
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:51,639
Nearly there.

401
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:52,640
Hold it.

402
00:23:57,320 --> 00:24:00,700
Mr. Offit, I should be obliged if you
switch your motor off.

403
00:24:04,020 --> 00:24:06,420
I've just come down from Mr. Grady's
office.

404
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:08,180
Apparently, he'd given Mr.

405
00:24:08,380 --> 00:24:09,380
Armand the wrong powder.

406
00:24:09,700 --> 00:24:11,260
This is the one for the flash.

407
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:12,700
What's he got in there, then?

408
00:24:13,340 --> 00:24:15,480
Gunpowder for the distress cannon on his
yacht.

409
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:16,680
I'd better tell him.

410
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:04,080
Not a whisper.

411
00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:05,120
Hang on a minute.

412
00:25:08,380 --> 00:25:10,660
Disney! Flaming! Hang off my head!

413
00:25:11,220 --> 00:25:12,159
Thank God.

414
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:13,820
The golden voice is still intact.

415
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:20,480
Ah, you can watch them from here, Mr
Harmon. Oh, thank you, sir.

416
00:25:20,980 --> 00:25:23,260
Do you think Mr Spooner's voice is going
to be all right?

417
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:26,560
Well, if it isn't, I've got the song on
tape in here. They could always mime to

418
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:27,580
it. Ah, that's a relief.

419
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:30,800
Susan, you'd better take this tape to
Sam and ask him to stand by with it,

420
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:31,800
in case.

421
00:25:33,879 --> 00:25:35,060
Right, cut camera on.

422
00:25:35,540 --> 00:25:39,100
We start here in the sound things with
that fairy tale story we promised you

423
00:25:39,100 --> 00:25:43,460
about the unknown shop assistant that's
suddenly been plucked for stardom. Now

424
00:25:43,460 --> 00:25:46,980
just imagine, you do a turn at your
staff concert, wherever it is you work,

425
00:25:46,980 --> 00:25:50,780
then suddenly you get first a phone
call, and then a fat contract from a

426
00:25:50,780 --> 00:25:51,780
recording company.

427
00:25:52,100 --> 00:25:55,740
Well, it's happened. The song that did
it is Chanson d 'Amour. More to the

428
00:25:55,740 --> 00:26:00,100
point, the man that did it is called
Bert Spooner, a name to conjure with.

429
00:26:00,100 --> 00:26:01,620
he works at Grace Brothers.

430
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:05,760
He was backed in his endeavors by
members of his own department, and

431
00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:08,860
seems to have brought half the shop
along with him to the studio tonight.

432
00:26:34,250 --> 00:26:38,110
That's fine. Bert Spooner. Chanson d
'amour.

433
00:26:38,610 --> 00:26:39,790
Who's next?

434
00:26:44,290 --> 00:26:45,330
Show.

435
00:27:49,550 --> 00:27:50,950
Boy, she's gone. Quick, put our tape on.

436
00:27:51,150 --> 00:27:52,730
Sam, quick, put that tape on.

437
00:28:20,810 --> 00:28:21,549
your career.

438
00:28:21,550 --> 00:28:22,910
It's just not my...

439
00:29:08,170 --> 00:29:09,170
So...

440
00:29:44,430 --> 00:29:48,770
Chow Chow Chow Chow